Yep folks, that is right. I am going to go out and buy a brass plate, a big one, and have it engraved.
Here lives Lulu, Officially Stupid.
No one will dispute it. This morning I started cooking some beef stock. I have done it at least a million times. I think I am pretty clever when I do it. People are always impressed.
I start my stock. I go and start cleaning my bathroom. I come back to the kitchen and am immediately alert to the fact that something is not right. Where is the good, hearty smell? Where is the comforting bubbling pot. The kitchen is cold and still. The gas has run out. Long story, but we are currently on bottled gas. Annoying as hell, but a makeshift solution until the new kitchen is installed.
Ok, I think, I can do this. I run downstairs to the storage Cellar and grab my Slow Cooker. I grumble as I walk up the stairs, because it is covered in fine dust, residue from when Mr Dear Husband put up the new shelving. He claims that ‘clean up’ after doing renovations does not fall into his job criteria. One day I will give him a big dose of ‘job criteria’.
I wash my slow cooker carefully… don’t want any silt in my soup. Plug it in, grab the heavy pot of half cooked stock… and carefully pour it into the slow cooker. Then I watch as all the precious liquid starts to run through the slow cooker… over the kitchen bench, down through the dishwasher and on to the floor. Aaaaaaaaagggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!
I had forgotten to put the ceramic pot back inside.
Don’t kid yourself, if this ever happens to you, cancel everything on your calendar for the next two days. That is how long it will take you to clean up the mess.
A perfect end to a diabolical week.
I am going to search the house. Somewhere, someplace is a Voodoo Doll with my name on it. Not sure who I annoyed, but they got themselves some mighty powerful magic happening.
If you need me today, I will be Out for Lunch.