If you are going to use an Egg Flip to clean the ice off your car windscreen…
…don’t get caught by the neighbour who already thinks you are a little weird. Telling him you ‘couldn’t find the ice scraper’ will win you no love.
When shovelling your front path, do not enter into a competition with aforementioned neighbour…
…he is a pensioner (senior citizen), having the cleanest path in the street is the highlight of his day and he will keep going until he breaks you.
If you are going to open the boot (trunk) of your car BEFORE you clean off the snow…
…be prepared to spend the next hour shovelling snow OUT of your boot before your husband finds out.
Should you run out of grit or salt to stop your paths from icing up…
…using that expensive salt from your last holiday in the South of France, is not a good choice.
Mis-judging the curb when crossing the street during a partial thaw…
…can result in EXTREMELY cold ankles, your child will learn words that are NOT age appropriate and a squelching sound that attracts unnecessary attention in the library.
When you are walking down the street in Germany and you see this sign:
...do NOT look up! It took Miss Eight 10 minutes to stop laughing before she asked, “Would you like a tissue?”
I am still trying to work out why I even bothered leaving the house today.
